What Do Others See in You?

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(Photo taken of my band in 1996 – I’m the guy wearing glasses)

Philippians 1:6…”Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Recently my wife and I sat down with one of her oldest friends that has known her far longer than I have. She was a career mentor and good friend to my wife starting at quite a young age. Lisa (wife) thinks the world of both her and her opinion. Separated by time and distance, we don’t get to spend too much time together with her and her husband, but it’s always a pleasure when we all get together to really chat. This time was no exception. Yet on this occasion, it was me she was interested in learning more about, and the experience left me pondering a very important Christian question – What do others see in me?

When I met the woman that would become my wife and mother to my children, I was the guy in that picture shown above. We met early in 1996. My basic persona if you didn’t know me, was a shaggy-haired rock drummer in a band enjoying success in very small increments. I wasn’t exactly a Hallmark Movie Dream Hunk Prince that a woman would love to show off. In fact, I was pretty much the opposite of that…outwardly. Inwardly, and my wife saw this from the start, I was far more complex and full of dreams and aspirations. Lisa loved that guy, and he loved her right back. We both still feel the same. But to others, I always suspected we didn’t make much sense as a couple. She was this rising corporate business star, and I was this creative/strange type that people like her only happen across if I’m playing the bar they are socializing at in the moment. The night she met me I offered her a ride to late night breakfast, and my small car was loaded with my drums. I made just enough room to add her, and she had fun playing with the chimes from my set all the way to the restaurant. I had no idea at the time what she did in life, I just remember being really drawn to her spirit…the real her…and she was the same with me. We played pool together and got along like we’d known each other from the start. It felt natural. It’s always been that way with us. And we created this bubble of existence that our relationship lives in, that shelters out what other people think and whatever advice they think we need about ourselves. God put us together, we truly believe, and from the earliest moments of our relationship, in unison we put Christ in the center. He began a good work in us.

So we sit down with her friend, and she wants to know how I’ve come to grow into the person I am today. She only knew of me back at that time, but now through my writings and the wonders of social media, she knows more of the true me. Just by how the question was asked, I could tell she was comparing what was sitting in front of her now with the imagery of who she thought I was at the start. She wanted to know how the shaggy-haired drummer grew into this man. “I mean, you’re everywhere now,” she stated. The answer is easy – “Jesus started a good work in me and construction is ongoing.” But that’s not what I said. I had come to the get together expecting to talk about my wife, not me, so it kind of threw me off-guard. So I went on a lengthy history lesson of mentors God put in my path since that time (Pastor’s Chuck, Clark and Ernie), as well as other men like George Woods and Bryan Davis, and weaved a path that led to current me. All of that was unnecessary. I’m still the same guy that gave Lisa a ride to breakfast in my heart. I’ve just lived longer and have experienced a great deal more through His teaching.

Jesus started a good work in me, and Lisa, long before it was ever time for us to be placed together on the same path. When others looked at me then, Christ was unrecognizable, both in deeds and words, but He was surely already there. Anything they see in me now, is merely the progress that has been made by the work of Christ. The process of continual transformation. I’m really happy that her friend sees me now as worthy of what Lisa deserves, but both then and now, Lisa saw it, and I in her, and it really makes a person ponder – What do others see in you? What do we see in others? Here in this moment.

Consider the people that are surrounding your life. Who are the ones that are only window dressing with no substance behind it? Who are the ones that are His even though you, or even they, might not see it yet?

Proverbs 21:2…”A person may think their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart.”

What does your heart reveal?

Gary Abernathy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Harvest

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Be Holy

1 Peter 1: 13-15…”Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’ “

This weekend my wife blurted out a sentence that struck fear into me…”Do you want to clean out the garage today?” I know very well what my garage looks like. It’s a storage building for 20 years of being together and 17 1/2 years of being parents. It’s all the boxes, all the decorations, all the junk, all the toys, all the…stuff…that an American family accumulates over time and has no idea what to do with. If our garage was a metaphor it’s this…The spoiled excess of the upper-middle class American lifestyle that fills our souls literally with junk so that we’re so cluttered the thought of cleaning ourselves up is far too much work…so we just sink into rot and decay.” That’s the metaphor. Sorry for being so deep with it. Truth can suck.

So, my wife, like most wives, got her way, and we began the process. Begrudgingly I went along with this exercise in garage humility. The organization plan was to have 3 piles.

1 – Keep

2 – Charity

3 – Throw Away

Overwhelmingly, the throw away pile was the big winner. (2) full van loads of stuff we’ve been holding taken to the local dump, and another full load still to be taken tomorrow, because today is Sunday and apparently the dump observes the Sabbath. When we started, you could barely open the garage door or side door. Fully stuffed. When we finished, not only did the riding lawn mower and giant smoker grill go back in easy, there is ample room for an actual car to be parked in there now. That’s how much was discarded and how little was kept. On a side note, I kept thinking of one of my favorite Billy Graham lines…”Just because you’re born into a Christian family that doesn’t make you a Christian. You could have been born in a garage, but that doesn’t make you an automobile.” What really makes that line funny is his very distinct accent when he says automobile. Classic. But I digress.

Mankind. There are rules God has established. We don’t follow them. None of us. So, the penalty for that is death. After death, there are ample descriptions and visions of where a soul goes being found guilty without redemption at death. I’ll leave that there. Jesus Christ is our redemption. Because we cannot, God sent his Son here to live the life we aren’t capable of living, so that we might live (our eternal soul). If we believe and accept that, we are offered salvation and washed clean of our guilt (sin). MANY accept that invitation by proclamation. However, the heart is lacking. The heart is all that matters in this equation. Peter speaks to that in the above scripture. We were brought out of ignorance and given salvation. Given the Holy Spirit. A truly reborn soul can’t help with the spirit within them to feel the pull of what Peter’s words allude to in their life. The command issued…”Be holy, because I am holy.” Though we fail daily to fully live up to that, our hearts feel our failures, and our soul always seeks rebuke and correction so that we may each moment move towards a truly holy state of being. Anyone you see as a “Christian” obviously not feeling that pull and seeking repentance, has missed something.

There is a great harvest underway. A separating. A division. Just like the piles my wife and I created. There are His that shall be preserved and saved. There are those hanging in limbo not with the Spirit, but hope still remains they will call and Jesus will send the Spirit to rescue them. Then there is the junk to be tossed away. In scripture it’s described as being, “tossed in the lake of fire.” Which is what happens in a harvest. You burn the chaff. There will be far more chaff burned than wheat collected in the final harvest. Christ will sit on his judgment throne and say to many…”Go from me, I never knew you.” How can you be sure to be wheat in that moment?

You’ll know because your entire existence will begin to transform. What you’re passionate about, what’s important to you, how you love, how you view others…it all changes. Not instantly, but also not too slowly either. When you are reborn in the Holy Spirit instantly the process begins of ripping all the junk stored up inside you out…and replacing it with the holiness Peter speaks of. It’s a very ugly process. Be prepared to cry a lot. Be prepared to try to hold onto for dear life the sin the Spirit is ripping from you and having a whole lot of rebuking placed upon you for it. God punishes his like any good parent does a child. It’s a progressive form of punishment. It’s learned pretty quickly that you do not want to go to the hardest forms. If it’s necessary, God will completely break you down to heal you. David being a prime example. I’ve pushed the Spirit to the limits of him getting very serious. It’s not pleasant…at all. Repent. He cannot use us in an impure state. So we will be made pure at any cost.

If that paragraph above is not something you understand immediately when you read it…well…go to prayer. Get in scripture. Plead for the Spirit. It’s all that matters in this small time we are here. When the harvest arrives…chaff will be burned. 100% guaranteed.

Wheat…shall live.

Gary Abernathy